Friday, 20 August 2010

Douche or turd sandwich?

We have to vote in the Federal Election tomorrow. Increasingly it appears we will be voting for a choice between a giant douche or a turd sandwich. South Park had an episode once where the the boys had to vote for a school mascot and the choices were so bland they endorsed joke candidates - a giant douche and a turd sandwich. That episode isn't so funny now that our nation appears to be faced with just that choice.

There is almost nothing to distinguish the main parties on a policy basis. They really do seem to be racing each other to the bottom. They're both running on "major" issues that only appeal to the lowest common denominator. Bullshit issues like "Stopping The Boats". For fracks sake. It is a non-issue. It is completely made up. It only appeals to the fears of racist rednecks* in marginal seats. Before they stop the boats maybe that should look at where the real illegal immigrants are coming in and stop the planes.

So when it comes to voting for a House of Reps candidate tomorrow to see who will form government it probably doesn't matter who you vote for. I have a slight preference for one party over the other but when push comes to shove a it doesn't matter whether it is a Liberal government or a Labor government that gets elected. They both have policies that scare the shit out me.

One place where we might make a difference is voting for the senate. Don't trust these arseholes and vote above the line. God knows where they direct their preferences sometimes. How the hell do you think a major fuckwit like Senator Steve Fielding from Family First got in last time? Dodgy preference deals allowed him to sneak in with just 1.7 percent of the primary vote. It is a pain to fill in the numbers below the line but at least you can direct your preferences to who you want to vote for and not where some faceless party apparatchik has directed the preferences. And maybe we can wave goodbye to Senator Steve.

Me? In the senate I will be voting for the Secular Party of Australia and the Australian Sex Party. Both parties have real policies for a modern Australia based on the values of ethical humanism... and sex. Sex is nice.
And they're not afraid of the fucking boats.

*Okay, maybe they're not all racist rednecks. But both the major parties are cynically playing on the unfounded fears of ignorant (I don't mean stupid) Australians on this totally bogus issue. So is the internet filter. Don't get me started on this bullshit plan to censor the net by cynically exploiting fears of child exploitation and the technical ignorance of the average Australian.

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